This is a huge reason why sons disrespect their mothers. Mothers and sons argue about schoolwork, chores, curfews, and accountability. When kids are young, its a good idea to teach them to care for other people. Some online communities also provide access to various forums where parents can connect with other parents going through similar experiences. There is also not an exact description of the personality traits behind sons who hate their mothers. It could result from many factors, such as unresolved childhood issues or mental illness. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_12',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); Oedipus Complex: Complex of emotions of the son around age 3-5 towards his mother that positively or negatively affects his future relationships depending on the attachments formed in his childhood environment (Source: Simply Psychology). Some young men will be influenced by their peers or even older family members and mistreat their mothers. Though traits of NPD may show up during childhood or late adolescence, most people with NPD are diagnosed in early adulthood. 1. This can lead to sons taking their mothers for granted and forgetting to show them appreciation. You might think that you know everything there is to know about your son, but its always nice to hear what he has to say. If she just calls you up to talk about how youre doing in school or your plans for the weekend, it might seem like she only cares about making sure youre happy and healthy. Some sons are jealous of their mothers relationship with their spouse. You can also suggest professional counseling if needed, as this may be the best route for him to take. In these situations, the son may be left feeling confused and angry. Maybe shes more of a helicopter parent, always hovering and controlling. This kind of behavior can hurt the sons mental health and affect his life as an adult. This can cause the son to become angry and resentful towards his mother. These sons (and mothers) have varying backgrounds and cultures, and come from all walks of life. Contrary to what Hillary Clinton said, it does not actually take a village. This is not to say a mother should not be in tune with her sons life and parent him as he grows. sons closeness to their mothers and fathers, Avoidance and detachment in relationships, Emotional issues in childhood and in adult life. (5 Reasons). 5. Its important to understand the reasons behind this behavior so that we can address it effectively. Or maybe she didnt show as much affection toward them as she did to youthats a sign of favoritism, which is also unhealthy for kids. Mathew is a grad student, a retired successful international fighter, a black belt master instructor in several martial arts systems, and the instructor to hundreds of Little Ninjas that use him as a jungle gym each week. This is a severe issue that should be dealt with immediately. Sons who hate their mothers are rare, but exist. If a mother constantly questions her sons abilities, it can cause a lot of resentment in the relationship. They may feel like they are not good enough or that they do not deserve their mothers love. Because in a healthy family world, all children are treated equally. That might sound strange, but it makes sense, considering how much time mothers spend helping their sons grow up. If your son has experienced any kind of childhood trauma, it can lead to emotional and behavioral issues that will often be taken out on you. It may also damage his relationships with other women. Much of what they describe, while conflict-laden and uncomfortable, doesn't seem bad enough . The result can be a deep feeling of inadequacy and insecurity. At the other end of the spectrum, the narcissistic mother may become so enmeshed with her children and overbearing that she engages in covert emotional . Many sons feel that their mothers try to control every aspect of their lives. Step 1. All rights reserved 2022-2023 Copyright HowChimp.com. If a mother cannot let her son live his own life and continues to stick her nose in where it does not belong, a hateful son may distance himself from her permanently. It is crucial that you give your son enough room to make mistakes and learn from them. A sons relationship with his mother not only helps the son form his very own identity but also influences how he interacts with others, including other women, later on in life. Parenting by definition isnt overbearing or controlling. However, for sons, their negative relationship with their mother more often had ripple effects to break down other relationships. For example, studies have shown how mothers treat their sons and daughters differently. The son feels like he cant please his mother. 6 Ways To Keep The Zen! It may be that the husband/dad is not living with the family anymore or has died. Here are a few tips for dealing with sons who treat their mothers poorly. The mother is highly dependent on her son for validation and self-worth. A son may feel that his mother doesnt acknowledge him as a grown-up if she constantly refers to him as my child.. This is the more difficult kind of mother-son relationship to repair. This can lead to feelings of jealousy and competition, as well as resentment and anger. If were honest about our own mistakes, theyll be more likely to open up about their own mistakes, which will help both parties get through them easier than if they were just ignored altogether without any explanation! When the relationship is unhealthy, it can be difficult for mom and son to move forward in their lives. This will help him open up about his day and get some of that pent-up emotion out in the open before it builds up inside him. The hatred between a son and his mother develops over time when boundaries continue to be disrespected. This is the conundrum. Sometimes it is the child's spouse who demands distancing from family. A son may feel like his mother doesnt trust him and that she thinks hes incompetent. Mothers Should Not Judge Their Sons Too Much. No child should feel like she runs the household and that her parent or caretaker is there to serve her. When a son grows up in an abusive household, their relationship with their mother is often strained. When youre a mother, it can be hard to know what to do when your son treats you poorly. The one emotion boys are allowed to show? Males in particular have a higher rate of diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder than females.This is a very helpful video for those wanting to begin to understand these disorders. In this kind of relationship, both the mother and son are constantly trying to get something from each other. Some sons may behave poorly towards their mothers because they feel unappreciated or taken for granted. The son may feel like their mother never did enough to protect them or that she didnt do enough to stop the abuse, even if she did try. If mothers frequently find themselves in this situation, it is important to seek help. 3. Mothers always put their children first and are always there for them, even when they dont deserve it. However, this type of mother can also be overbearing. There will be times when your child does something nice for someone else. The issue of sons who hate their mothers is complicated, but usually stems from the same set of circumstances. She wants to feel loved and appreciated, and if she cannot find this in her husband or other male figures around her, she will seek it out from her son. Even though this is not typical of most mother-son relationships, unfortunately, it does happen at times.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-sky-4','ezslot_25',162,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-sky-4-0'); To recap, some factors or causes leading to sons hating their mothers are: Although this is a complicated issue, I hope Ive shed some light on it for you. Sons who hate their mothers may exhibit the following traits: Whats tricky to comprehend, though, is that a son from an abusive mother will just as likely love her as hate her. Dr.Timothy Legg says that if youre not willing to sacrifice the relationship, then you must modify your behavior in relation to the behavior of the person with NPD. And to do this successfully usually requires regular and consistent therapy involving all stakeholders, if possible: the son, the mother, and the father. Your email address will not be published. You might have heard the old saying, Mother knows best. But why do some sons have difficulty listening to or respecting their mothers? One of the most important things you can do to create a healthy relationship with your son is to let him make his own decisions. Image credits depositphotos.com/stock-photo-parents-talking-son-bench-park. The son may feel like his mom doesnt understand or care about him. If you want your son to grow into a healthy young man with good self-esteem, then you need to give him room for growth. I have tried it all, name it. This makes it difficult for the son to trust his mother because he will always doubt whether or not he has done a good or bad thing. A few days before my son's wedding, I asked if he was certain he wanted to tie the knot. Thats what youre supposed to do, as a parent. It can also be a way for the mother to control her son and make sure hes always including her in his plans. Some mothers feel that they are always right, so there is no need to apologize. Sons who treat their mothers poorly are often lost and confused. A toxic mother-son relationship is characterized by a power imbalance, where the son feels helpless in his relationship with his mother. Looking the other way is allowing abuse to happen on your watch. And i guarantee you that nothing hurts as much as a destroyed relationship between you and your mother. Is it really possible for sons to hate their mothers and if so, what do we need to know about this?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_4',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_5',105,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-105{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. This may mean that they dont talk about important things with each other or that they dont spend much time together talking at all. Its normal for adult sons to have conflicts with their mothers. This can lead to arguments because the son feels they are being lied to by their mother and starts believing they cannot trust her anymore. . 91 4 A bossy mother will often want to know where her son is at all times, what hes doing, and who hes spending time with. Read on as we explore the issue of sons who mistreat their mothers, why sons behave this way, what it does to their mothers, and what mothers can do about it. I have three pieces of. Only then can you hope to have a healthy, supportive relationship with your mother. Of course, he understands that she is just trying to show him a better way forward but this becomes irritating at times. He talks badly about his mother and/or all women. It is no secret that the relationship between a mother and her son is an important one. 20 Fun & Memorable Christmas Activities For Kids, How To Deal With Entitled Stepchildren: 9 Ways To Harmonize With Your New Family, How To Motivate A Teenager Who Doesnt Care: 14 Ways To Re-invigorate Your Child. Supporting your son is important, but it doesnt mean you have to play every sport or join every club he does. Listening will help you understand where hes coming from and how he feels about things. The children from mothers who were avoidant, anxious, or ambivalent did not rely on their mothers for support. They expect them to excel at everything they do and always come out on top. How did a loving mother-son relationship become hateful? It can be difficult for mothers to treat their adult son and daughter equally regarding discipline, love, and affection. In an unhealthy mother-son relationship, the mother is overbearing and controlling. However, if the mother favors one child over another or treats them differently, then this may indicate an unwell relationship between the two. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-sky-3','ezslot_24',116,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-sky-3-0'); In conclusion, there are often many underlying and connecting issues that lead to sons hating their mothers. The reasons for this are manifold, but often include a lack of understanding or empathy on the part of the son and a lack of communication between the generations.eval(ez_write_tag([[320,50],'ciprofamily_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_7',168,'0','0']));eval(ez_write_tag([[320,50],'ciprofamily_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_8',168,'0','1']));.medrectangle-3-multi-168{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. And believe me the biggest regret is having mistreated your own mother. 1. Its crucial to be patient with your son and not hold grudges, no matter how difficult hes being and how hes treating you. This was illustrated in a 2015 British study, Hidden Voices, which surveyed nearly 2,000 individuals about why they were estranged from their parents and the psychological consequences of the estrangements. It's normal for adult sons to have conflicts with their mothers. She has provided him with food, shelter, clothing, and other necessities all of his life. For the most part, the first thing Ive learned about sons who hate their mothers is that there is not a one-size-fits-all reason behind it. Here are six signs of an unhealthy mother-son relationship: 1. They are often seen as the epitome of a mother because they are very strict and do not hesitate to discipline their children. As expected, living with a person with NPD can be quite daunting, and maintaining a relationship with a son with NPD hugely challenging for mothers in particular since sons with this often view their mothers as inferior and targets for insults. This can make them less receptive to their mothers attempts to help them with their problems or offer advice about how they should behave. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-netboard-2','ezslot_21',115,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-netboard-2-0'); Narcissistic Personality Disorder: People with NPD are rude, self-centered, demanding, and feel superior to all others, including their parents. You can also get psychological or medical advice from professionals who can help you recover from this harmful behavior! Some mothers favor certain children over others, and sometimes, it can be a bad relationship. She may start to question why she even bothered to have children in the first place and may even start to resent them. As a result, the son becomes arrogant and eventually disrespects his mother. eval(ez_write_tag([[120,600],'ciprofamily_com-box-4','ezslot_13',197,'0','0']));eval(ez_write_tag([[120,600],'ciprofamily_com-box-4','ezslot_14',197,'0','1']));.box-4-multi-197{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}This article will explore the reasons why some sons treat their mothers poorly and offer advice on how to break the cycle. One of the most common rules kids learn from parents regardless of culture and background is to not tell lies, so it comes as a shock when it seems your own mother is doing it. Common Reasons Why Sons Treat Their Mothers Poorly. A mother must show her son that she loves him without being too much. 6 Ways To Keep The Zen! "There!" he says, throwing it down where his mother can see before stomping off to his room. Please love your mother too. Mothers who control their sons to an extreme degree may end up hurting how their sons will control their very own emotions in the future. This connects to another aspect about sons who hate their mothers: relationships, which well look at next. This can lead to anxiety and feeling suffocated by the relationship. Youve probably heard the saying Mother knows best, but that doesnt mean your son always wants to hear what you have to say. Constantly making fun of her and belittling her in front of others. You need to give him the freedom to make his own decisions as he learns how to be an adult. They may feel like they are not good enough or that they do not deserve their mother's love. Dont try so hard to keep tabs on what hes doing or who hes hanging out with; instead, let him go out into the world and find his own way through life. You can tell a lot about a man by the way his mother talked to (and talks to) him. Some sons have personality issues that cause them to mistreat their mothers. The dysfunction of the mother-son relationship will always affect his other relationships, in either big or small ways, whether the son likes or not. Mothers who raised their children alone and are now outsiders. its a sign of an unhealthy mother-son relationship. When this happens, children tend to distance themselves from their parents because they no longer feel loved or respected by them. A mother who controlled her son may feel it is okay to control his spouse, but this will create a further wedge in the relationship. Something a lot of parents feel like they cant do in front of their kids is own up to making mistakes and potentially looking anything less than perfect. It can be a source of strength and support or, alternatively, a source of stress and tension. They are often very close, but they can also be at odds with each other. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. When a mother is constantly finding fault with her son, it creates an environment of tension and conflict. The Mother Might Have a Relationship with Another Man The son might have a father figure in his life who isn't his biological father. She involves herself in her sons personal relationship business. Children can be rude because they havent lived long enough to know what else is out there. An overly controlling mother may lead sons to hate them. Therefore, the sons feel the mothers dont have faith in them as adults, or of their ability to make good decisions. This can manifest in a number of ways, including the mother constantly needing to know what her son is doing, being overly critical of her son, and not allowing him to have any independence. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-netboard-1','ezslot_20',114,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-netboard-1-0'); Sons who hate their mothers may get so tired of what they consider a toxic relationship that they simply abandon it altogether. If you must meet with your son to discuss something that he is doing wrong, try to wait until a time when he has had a chance to relax and unwind. They're also hurting their mothers, who are often the closest people to them in the world. When a Man Has a Bad Relationship With His Mother. Even in these situations, though, the child still treats the parent deferentially and the parent continues to think of the child in his appropriate role. It also helps him understand that making mistakes is natural, so he wont feel as bad about his slip-ups. An overly controlling mother is also someone who wants to have the final say in how her son lives his life. They feel theyve been pushed aside and want to make it known that theyre still important in their mothers life. Usually this stems from misuse of parent-child roles; for example, if there is an absent or neglectful father, then the mother may rely on her son inappropriately for counsel and companionship. When a mother has problems or issues, she will blame her son for it even though he did nothing wrong. He sees how you react to situations and learns from your example. Heres common reasons why. Where Can I Send My Out Of Control Teenager |20 BEST PLACES, 35 Reasons For Marrying Your First Love (Pros & cons), Is My Boyfriend Cheating On Me | 45 Sign Hes Cheatin. It may not seem a stretch to imagine a son hating a mean, harmful mother, but some sons truly hate their mothers, despite the moms being utterly caring and loving. This final act of estrangement is a characteristic of sons who hate their mothers. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-4','ezslot_15',155,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-4-0');The Attachment Theory is about how childhood attachment affects adult relationships. But mothers shouldnt expect an immediate change in their sons behavior after sending the letter. Little Ninja parenting is compensated for referring traffic and business to these companies. Whatever the reason, its not healthy for either the mother or the son. First, try to avoid criticism. Again, why do sons treat their mothers poorly? Whether youre a mother, a son, or just a person with a beating heart and an internet connection, this information should make you feel less alone. Young sons rebel for a reason but with enough work, you can mend a broken relationship. This can lead to a cycle of poor treatment and resentment. When a son feels this way about their mother, they may be less likely to respect and listen to her later in life. His mother tries to triangulate by going through the spouse to get what she wants from the son. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship, so its important to talk and listen to your son and make sure he feels heard. Adult children learn by watching us, so if they see us making mistakes, then its natural for them to think that doing the same thing would be okay too! For this reason, divorce should not be taken lightly (and I argue, if at all) because it leads to the breakdown of the family unit, which can lead to the breakdown of parent-child relationships, too.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-portrait-1','ezslot_22',600,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-portrait-1-0'); Sons with mental illness or personality disorders can become difficult to live with, especially for their parents. This problem can have serious consequences for both the mother and the son, including feelings of isolation, low self-esteem, and even depression. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-1','ezslot_10',109,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-1-0'); The relationship between a mother and son is extremely important to a males upbringing, just as the father-son relationship is. Mothers who are controlling usually have high expectations for their children. I cant imagine my sons hating me, but Im sure neither can most moms. Mothers are supposed to love their children equally, but most of us know thats not always the case. Your job is to be supportive and help him grow in areas where hes struggling, but dont get involved too much in his personal life. This can lead to the son feeling overwhelmed and helpless. Parents who have been alienated by those they raised. A man's relationship with his mother will differ from a significant other relationship / casual dating situation. A scheming mother who is overstepping boundaries will try to control every aspect of her sons relationships without regard for his needs, wants, or desires. This might be because she was too busy working or emotionally unavailable. Jackie has been a teacher for many decades with awards and accolades from all across the country. If a mother is treated poorly by her son, its essential to understand that it is not always the mothers fault. Many sons treat their mothers poorly and make their life miserable. It can also be a great way for both of you to learn how to communicate better and improve your relationship. Males may not mature as quickly as females, and this can extend to how they view and treat their mothers. An academic study in the Journal of Family Psychology studied 1,500 adolescents to recognize the parenting differences African American mothers had with their sons and daughters. Healthy family world, all children are treated equally cant please his mother trust. Various forums where parents can connect with other sons who treat their mothers poorly going through similar experiences all of life... Often lost and confused are not good enough or that they do not hesitate to discipline their.. She loves him without being too much strict and do not hesitate to discipline their children alone are! 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